================================ === JUST FUCKING USE HTTP! === ================================ [for a proper experience use `curl https://justfuckingusehttp.com` and get a proper Unicode font] Alright, listen up, asshole! You know what's more foolproof than your hippie HTML bullshit? That's right, pure text over HTTP! While you're out here arguing with the frontend fanatics over the "right" way to make a webpage, you never even stopped for a goddamn second to think that you don't need any of that shit. Who the fuck cares about a *button* when all you need is text? Ever read a book, dipshit? "Oh, but how am I going to make a nice-looking page?" Let me tell you of a wonderful thing called: ________ ________ ________ ___ ___ ________ ________ _________ |\ __ \|\ ____\|\ ____\|\ \|\ \ |\ __ \|\ __ \|\___ ___\ \ \ \|\ \ \ \___|\ \ \___|\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \|\ \ \ \|\ \|___ \ \_| \ \ __ \ \_____ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ __ \ \ _ _\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \|____|\ \ \ \____\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \| \ \ \ \ \__\ \__\____\_\ \ \_______\ \__\ \__\ \ \__\ \__\ \__\\ _\ \ \__\ \|__|\|__|\_________\|_______|\|__|\|__| \|__|\|__|\|__|\|__| \|__| \|_________| Might be a bit old-fashioned even for you, but this is what we call ๐”ž ๐”ข ๐”ฐ ๐”ฑ ๐”ฅ ๐”ข ๐”ฑ ๐”ฆ ๐” . That's right, we also have fancy Unicode characters, you sorry-ass bitch. Want italics? ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘๐‘˜. Bold? ๐œ๐ก๐ž๐œ๐ค. Underline? mอŸoอŸtอŸhอŸeอŸrอŸfอŸuอŸcอŸkอŸiอŸnอŸgอŸ อŸcอŸhอŸeอŸcอŸkอŸ. "But muh interactivity!" Who the fuck asked for interactivity? You think a user wants to see your shitty bฬดอฬ™Uฬธฬ‡ฬกtฬทออTฬตฬšฬณoฬตฬ‚ฬฒNฬถฬ‚ฬช on a โ“…โ“Šโ“‡โ’บ โ’ฝโ“‰โ“‚โ“ โ“Œโ’บโ’ทโ“ˆโ’พโ“‰โ’บ? Fuck no. Just give them a text response telling them to call your contact number and make some sweaty call center employee take their fucking ecommerce orders. Worst comes to worst, make those assholes work for it and send your server a perfectly-formatted POST request, ordering their next hentai body pillow cover and paying with Trump's scamcoin. ,, `7MMF' A `7MF'`7MM `7MMF' `7MMF'MMP""MM""YMM MMP""MM""YMM `7MM"""Mq. ,M"""b. `MA ,MA ,V MM MM MM P' MM `7 P' MM `7 MM `MM.89' `Mg VM: ,VVM: ,V MMpMMMb.`7M' `MF' MM MM MM MM MM ,M9 ,M9 MM. M' MM. M' MM MM VA ,V MMmmmmmmMM MM MM MMmmdM9 mMMY' `MM A' `MM A' MM MM VA ,V MM MM MM MM MM MM :MM; :MM; MM MM VVV MM MM MM MM MM ,, VF VF .JMML JMML. ,V .JMML. .JMML. .JMML. .JMML. .JMML. db ,V OOb" Because it's fucking universal, you bellend! And not like your pussy-ass HTML. For Christ's sake, how much do you want to overbloat the fucking internet? At the rate they're adding new useless features you'll soon need a 5090 just to run fucking Chrome. If your shitty page isn't accessible with Lynx Browser, why the fuck should anyone even bother? And how many times are you gonna stumble into a W3C feature that's not supported even in the big browsers, before you realize it's a fucking waste of time? That's right, I see that you're trying to use those month/week select inputs, even though they're more useless than the is-even package when you load your page with Firefox (although how much of a miserable fuck do you have to be to use Firefox?) โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘ โ•šโ•โ•โ•šโ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•šโ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ• โ•šโ•โ• โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ• ๐‰๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž ๐‡๐“๐“๐! Subscribe to my OnlyFans if you want to see the next installment: JUST FUCKING USE GOPHER! And yes, of course this site only works through HTTPS. You wouldn't fuck without a condom on a first date either, would you? And if you're reading this through a fucking browser and not a TTY as Richard Stallman intended (PBUH), you should just quit your job now and let the latest garbage AI do it better, you worthless piece of shit. No rights reserved, this is public domain, you GUI-loving loser. Parody of justfuckingusehtml.com (no hate) Made by Deni Mintsaev (a miserable fuck Firefox user) Website: denimintsaev.com Mastodon: mastodon.social/@mintydev Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/mintydev.bsky.social Source code: https://github.com/mintydev789/justfuckingusehttp.com